The Filming Process
Deciding on the project
I decided early on that I did not want the film to be focused too heavily on me personally. I wanted to use the process of making the film to almost come to terms with what religion means to me, but through the testimonies of those closest to me.
I would have never imagined that I would have done a film on religion but from doing the Rabinger (2004) exercises I came to understand that it was of little use to make something that you have little to no personal connection with. I felt more at ease doing such a family-orientated film when I spoke to other people in the class who were also doing similar style projects in focusing on their families and/or friends.
Logistically I had no real issues with regards to access as I filmed in both my houses and in my Church (which my Mum had access to).
We had a few limits with time as my home is in North Yorkshire so I had to get all of the footage with my family in over a period of less than 48 hours.
It was also a challenge trying to find a time that I could film both my housemates due to timetables and deadlines. In the end it was a really spontaneous filming session with us all on the sofa which actually worked out better as it was much more natural and less scripted than my initial plan.
This unflattering photo of me shooting outside in windy conditions visually represents all the struggles I faced throughout making the film.
While logistically I had a smooth process, internally I really struggled with self-doubt.
I constantly asked myself whether I would regret focusing on something so personal when everyone would see what I had captured. I was hyper aware of how I came across - would people see the title and make a snap judgement about me as a person? Would people be judging my family and friends.
Through the feedback sessions and support from those in the seminars I gradually managed to make peace with the film. I still cringe slightly when I watch it but I can't imagine having any other film submitted and I feel proud that I managed to overcome my self sabotage.